WHO IS BETTER?

			the winner
First Name	Randy	Randy	Push
Last Name	Moss	Moss	Push
Occupation	Professional Football Player	NASCAR Analyst for ESPN	Randy (the one with cornrows)
Hobby	Wrestling Chicks	Wrestling Alligators	Depends whether you like getting arrested or maimed
Favorite Beverage	Kool-Aide	Budweiser	White Randy

JIINGLE BELLS: THE REMIX

Based upon last night (9 pt. loss in game 1) and this video, the detroit pistons have gone soft. For those celtics fans out there that get a little nervous before the game, this is the perfect medicine to alleviate those butterflies.

SPEAKING OF MITCH GREEN...

Not that you were, but if you had been, this is undoubtedly what you should have been referencing. See, Mitch Green was this guy who boxed once upon a crackhouse, err, time. He made the mistake of picking a fight with Mike "I'll bite anything off that protrudes even a little, especially your children" Tyson. Apparently Mitch didn't get the memo about Tyson being disturbed, which is like saying that a couple hundred thousand Hiroshim-on didn't get the memo about the weather report calling for partly cloudy with a chance of A-bombs in '45. God I miss those days: the companionship (frustrated gay love) of my brothers-in-arms, the carb-cutting (diarrhea-inducing) canned turnip rations, and the first time I met my future wife, Soleil Moon Frye (happy ending? and isn't she asian? should be...). Yeah, those days be gone...but I've still got Mitch Green.

SUPER SOONER!

Main Entry:
soon·er
Pronunciation:
\ˈsü-nər\
Function:
noun
Etymology:
sooner, comparative of soon
1.capitalized : a native or resident of Oklahoma —used as a nickname

GOTTA LOVE HIM.

Spotted it watching it live. Reminds me of the time I was the only one in the room who saw JT rip off Janets removable (of course) titty cover, bra,, I dont know what to call it. Unfortunately, I could not find the NESN call, which actually eludes to Manny high fiving a fan, and then the subsequent reaction in the dugout has the whole team watches the replay on the dugout camera. Enjoy.

THANKFULLY, ARLEN SPECTER HAS CANCER.

Is there anything worse than a sore loser? Yes, a deadbeat senator with a motive, who doesn't know the facts. For those who do not know, Specter is an eagles fan. When word broke during super bowl week this past season (thanks Boston Herald, apology here) that the Patriots had video taped a St. Louis Rams walk through (thanks Matt Walsh, douchbag here), Specter figured it must be the reason the Eagles lost in the Super Bowl 3 years ago, even though Matt Walsh wasn't with the team during that Super Bowl. What transpired was a series of events that basically proves everyone is drinking hatorade. News outlets began publishing the story as fact, when in reality, it was the actions of a money grubbing golf pro from Hawaii fabricating the truth to not only make a name for himself, but in my opinion, to extort money out of the Patriots. Well, it was recently determined that no tape exists of any walk through, Matt Walsh had nothing. Every tape he handed over to the NFL were the same tapes that Belichick gave the league in week one. So lets get this straight, the Patriots owned up to everything, yet there is no forgiveness. Have you heard any remarks about Andy Pettitte recently, no, that's because he fessed up, and people forgave him(Roger...). Instead, Specter is still not happy, and demands (and will probably get) an independent investigation (a la the Mitchell Report). He claims there to be bias in the recent investigation, yet we at LT fail to see how his own original investigation did not contain bias, being a self proclaimed Eagles fan himself. And then, Arlen puts his foot in his mouth by blatantly demonstrating his lack of knowledge for the rules of the game. Specter makes the point that the Patriots had a season ticket holder viewing signals of the coaches while in the stands. Hey Arlen, that is perfectly legal in the NFL. The only rule the patriots broke was having a camera on the field during the game, that's it. They say bad things are always happening to good people, but this time God god got it right, after all, Arlen Specter does have cancer.

Here is the video of Specters press conference (if you have any energy left.)

THIS AIN'T NO Wii BOWLING!

This ranks right up there with the simple-minded autistic kid canning 7 threes in a high school game. Not only is it an inspirational story, it will put an LT! staff member back in his place, we won't name names though.
He's blind and 78, but this bowler still sees a perfect 300

As he held his 16-pound bowling ball in his hands and looked down the lane toward the pins standing before him, 78-year-old Dale Davis saw only a blur.

He couldn't see the lane. He couldn't see the pins. He couldn't see the people who had gathered behind him to see whether the blind man could accomplish something no one else at this alley ever had.

Full Story

WHERE MIKE TYSON HAPPENS!

What do you get when you combine mike tyson, a bunch of stuffy white news reporters (namely jim grey), and this gem from lenox lewis..."I hate gettin' bit"? A localtuna must see. Six minutes and thirteen seconds well spent, and at the very least hold on for young mike tyson.

POOP VIDEO

This definitely settles the argument over which sport is more brutal, hockey or football? Great camera work and an excellent call takes this video to the next level. Okay, i was joking, this video is terrible(poop), but it does settle the debate. The funniest part might be that the dad video taped the game, then put it on his TV and video taped the TV (you can tell by the black line at the top of the video that appears about halfway through), then dubbed over the audio (obviously scripted, no one can improve like that), and finally, posted it on break. (A certain LT staff member is undoubtedly disappointed with my run-on sentence.) Now... come on break, I expect better from you.

ROGER, MEET KARL.

Roger doesn't look so bad after reading this story. To sum it up, Karl Malone fathered a child with a 13 year girl. And this is when he was a sophomore in college. 13 years old Karl? Might as well go to 12 at that point. I wonder if she had a good time at forestry camp that year. "Karl said it was only tree sap." Whoops!

Gloria Bell, reportedly was only 13 years old and Malone a college sophomore at Louisiana Tech when Demetrius was born. Malone might have served jail time had her family asked the district attorney to file criminal charges.

Bell didn’t even know Malone was his father until after graduating from high school. When they finally met, Malone told the 18-year-old Bell it was too late to be his father, and that Bell would have to “earn his money on his own.”

In a 1998 story in the Salt Lake (Utah) Tribune, Gloria Bell said, “Demetrius is ashamed that his dad doesn’t claim him. But I’ve told him it is not his fault.”

Malone also fathered twins while in high school. One of them is WNBA star Cheryl Ford. It took years to claim the twins, and now he and his wife, Kay, fully accept them as part of their family.

Here's the full story from the Buffalo News.

JUST ANOTHER LOCALTUNA!

JUST ANOTHER OUT.

Awesome Baseball Save By Pitcher - Watch more free videos

BANG! BANG! BAS RUTTEN VIDEO.

Almost as good as the Bobby Knight video. "There is the table smack is head on it like 10 times."

LeBRON'S CALLS TONIGHT.

Well, it's another classic. Tommy! Pretty pumped for the game tonight, and all the calls the refs will give James after his exposure the last two games. But, we all know Pauly will come out, squat... and take a juicy poop at center of the Q. (LeBron will do the same for his box score.) Poop. (Had to.)

Getting back to the video, anyone else get slightly teary when they saw Jim O'Brien? Just me? Also, listening to the video, I had to replay it a few times to here the last line, "the cries of crack head thieves"??? Enjoy.

Danica Patrick is a Woman

Stop promoting stereotypes



This woman too...

A woman accused of running down a man in her car after a Red Sox-Yankees argument in a bar never hit her brakes as she accelerated toward the small group he was in, a prosecutor said Monday.

"She never braked, and she accelerated at a high speed for about 200 feet. She went directly at this group of people," prosecutor Susan Morrell said of Ivonne Hernandez, who is charged with reckless second-degree murder in the death early Friday of Matthew Beaudoin, 29.

full story (gotta see the mug shot)

Fortunately, the crewman from the video only suffered a concussion and minor scrapes, and is comfortably resting in the hospital. When reached for a statement, danica had one thing to say..."they're gonna call it a hard foul?"

Once you go spainard...

J-will's face is the best

Where is Tim Hardaway?

Classic

No intro could do this video justice. Might be my all-time favorite. It also proves that 'the thumb' (don orsillo) and 'the cigga butt' (jerry remy) are the best tandem calling baseball games. "Ahhhh, cheese!!" More to come from these two.

The One and Only

Thank god tony batista isnt trolling around in the american league east anymore, because by my calculations, the red sox have the highest density of japanese pitchers. So if japenese people are scared of black people, and black people are scared of dogs, does that make dogs scared of japenese people? ya, i think you know where im going with this.