JIM ROME CLASSIC

Watching the Berman videos brought me back to this classic Jim Rome.

REJECTED AT HALFTIME!

This has been big on digg.com, but it was just too funny not to post. Here is a halftime proposal during a Rockets game that didn't go very well. As the guy leaves the court, he grabs a beer and I think you can hear him say "I should have taken the half-court shot instead."

Stuffed Monkey (The Thong Post)

So the commercial opens with that fake fucking Jack Johnson whatever the fuck it is happy sunshine song and introduces you to mom (faithful house-queen, suckling pig) and dad (Colonel High-Hair, looks like that guy from West Wing) and little female baby (insufferable) and immediately you're struck by how much this ad makes you dislike sex. A your-breakfast-and-lunch-are-racing-your-dinner-for-the water in the toilet bowl sensation rips through you and your bowels do the opposite of tightening. You know the commercial. Little female baby runs out perfectly manicured house with daddy's suitcase, it's great. But it could be better...

Daddy in the cab on the way to the airport, and you can just smell how miserable he is to be leaving mom (Hoover) and little female baby (Rosemary's), and then he opens his suitcase and takes out what little female baby had stashed there. It's a stuffed fucking monkey. Here's where my version kicks in. Daddy starts whistling along to the High School Handjob acoustic gay-sexing its heart out in the background and rolls down the window. It's a steady descent, not too quick, and just before it's as low as it can go daddy casually pitches stuffed monkey out the window and into the cab's slipstream. Without losing his pucker, daddy puts the window up. Fade to black, but keep the whistling and fake Jack Johnson going in the background. Flash Trojan brand condom logo.

BRADY QUINN TALKS TO THE GAY COMMUNITY OF COLUMBUS, OHIO.

Brady Quinn may have an endorsement deal with EAS, but he still has yet to land a starting job. But one thing he does get to throw around is homophobic remarks. Seth Harris claims Quinn attempted to start a fight with him and called him a faggot, of course. The Cleveland Metro reports;

The call at 2:35 a.m. came from Seth Harris, who reported that he encountered the group in front of La Fogata Grill at 790 North High St. The Mexican restaurant is next door to the Union Cafe Bar + Food, one of Columbus' most popular gay bars in the gay-friendly Short North neighborhood.

On the 9-1-1 call, Harris said that "Brady Quinn from the Browns" was "trying to cause a fight." Harris told the operator, "I just walked outside and he exchanged many profanities with me and called me a faggot, of course."

Reached Monday by The Plain Dealer, Harris confirmed that Quinn was the person who used the slur.

"I knew who it was," he said. "It wasn't just directed at me, there were other people around, too."


This is classic. Quinn returns to his hometown to talk trash to homosexuals on new year's. Way to make it to the big time. Does "the Brown back-up Quarterback" sound like a gay sex act to anyone else?

C.C. SABATHIA PUTS OFF CONTRACT TALKS, EATS SANDWHICH INSTEAD..

C.C. Sabathia posted on his blog that he will cut off talks with the Cleveland Indians(feather) until the season is over. ESPN reports;

The 27-year-old left-hander, who is eligible for free agency after the 2008 season, said on his Web site that he and his agents have broken off negotiations on an extension with the club. The Indians recently had offered Sabathia a four-year extension believed to be worth $17 million to $18 million per season.

So are the Giants going to sign him? Throw him right in next to Barry Zito with his 7-year, $126 million contract. Looks like CC might want a little more mayo than that.

CHARLES BARKLEY, A MAN TO EMULATE.

Charles Barkley is "depressed". Why, my you ask? This is because he lost four-hundred thousand dollars on the Super Bowl. Who does he blame for this? Well, ESPN and it's "experts". He apparently switched his bet days before the game from the Giants to the Patriots, after listening to the authority come down with it's prediction. Charles talks about it on Jim Rome is Burning:


Once again, Charles can't quite win the big one.

CP, MY MAN!

For those of you who haven't seen the likes of Cody Paul, you're in for a treat. He's the future. He's already won the Heisman, twice. He's en eleven year old playing in a 12-14 year old league. He burns kids, slashes, cuts, and he's white. Keep a slot open in your 2019 draft, he's going to be huge.
Cody Paul #5

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LOCAL TUNA STAFF OUT FOR A CRUISE.

LINK

SEAN TAYLOR TAKES OUT PUNTER.

Video Description:"Pro Bowler Sean Taylor broke the unwritten rule of the Pro Bowl...and decides to gun down crush a poor punter who was going for a fake."

CHRIS BERMAN SOUNDS LIKE HE HANGS WITH A PARTICULAR LOCALTUNA STAFF MEMBER.

Chris, again looks like an ass here. Let's not forget he went to Brown University, but also let's not forgo who he's hitting on here, a Canadian tuxedo.

CHRIS BERMAN SOUNDS LIKE HE WORK'S FOR LOCLATUNA.

I think Chris Berman fucked the producer's wife or banged the camera man's daughter, but to whoever is putting these videos out there, it's gold. Gold.

CHRIS BOSH IS A STAR.

Can we trade this video in for more boards on my fantasy team?

KG; FROM A MINNEAPOLIS PERSPECTIVE.

HAHAHAHAHA.... Found this article titled "The Three Pointer: Getting Past the KG Hangover". Yeah, it's tough going through the rebuilding phase. We went through it last year at 24-48. Compared to the T-Wolves 32-50. So... looks liked we both sucked. Anyway this article's actually a pretty good read, way better than any of the stuff our writers put out. And our writers put out, if you know what I'm talking about. Do you know what I'm talking about? I think this might call for a poll.

MNF CUTTING DOWN ON THE CHAT.

Monday Night Football will apparently not use sideline reporters during games next year. Reporters Suzy Kolber and Michele Tafoya will be still there, just not as annoying as they were is past years, only reporting during pre and post-game.
LINK

I personally think this is a great idea, more of Tony Kornheiser, Ron Jaworski and Mike Tirico. Let's make this as painful as possible.

CHRIS DOES IT AGIAN.

So Chris and I really need to hangout. We could take aspirin with codeine to give us "that pop" we need during our broadcasts. But Chris, codeine to get you through the Jets game? What were you taking during the pro bowl? Swallowing Klonopins by the handful? God, that sounds like me after the Super Bowl.

ASANTE HAS BUTTER FINGERS.

Well the week of mourning is almost through, and what better way to recover than to blame Asante for his game-sealing missed interception. And yes that's a wad of cash in his hands.